I'm addicted to Snus. Stupid little tobacco-ish pouches being pushed by 7-11's for people like me, who want the zing of nicotine without the social stigma of smoking or spitting. Reviews talk about them tasting more like candy than tobacco, but they'll give you mouth cancer all the same. I recently discovered that my (sober) alcoholic cousin shared my interest in the little pouches, so I told him how I like to stuff two or three in my mouth at the same time. After all, the American version contains only 6g of tobacco versus the Swedish 24g.
Pretty clear indication that I need to amp up my efforts. I'm looking for comfort in the wrong places, leaning on chemicals instead of truth, people, program, and my Higher Power. When my cousin quit, cold turkey, a couple of weeks ago I thought I should do the same. I later found myself digging the discarded little tin out of a trash can full of, among other things, dog shit. I thought of Charlie in the first season of “Lost” digging through an airplane toilet where he'd hidden packets of heroin. I also thought of this video by 80's sketch comedy troupe “Kids in the Hall.”
Stream of thoughts....
4 days ago